I've always found it difficult when a foster's stay with us doesn't turn out the way we intended or had hoped for. Thankfully those instances have been few and far between - the great majority of kitties that we've had the pleasure of having as houseguests have gone on to be adopted from our home. But for those few that we've lost through illnesses that couldn't be recovered from, or through a move that had to take place because this just wasn't the right environment for them, I always find myself reflecting on them and wishing that it could have been different. Even re-examining whether or not we did everything possible for that particular boy, and in the end didn't fall short on trying everything possible.
Case in point - Buster's stay with us. It is clearly apparent now that Buster is not happy in our home; and does not relish sharing his space with other cats. Every single night, after a full day of napping and renergizing, he spends his evenings (and well into the wee hours of the morning), bullying, chasing and just pure instigating every kind of trouble you can imagine with Rocky & Silly.
When I watch him and see how he prefers to be on his own than to join us as a family, when no amount of coaxing will have him wanting to be with us instead of away from us, and when all attempts at 1x1 time are even met with disinterest and almost an expression of resentment, plainly put - I feel really sad for him and totally to blame that he's not happy.
This is one of those instances when you wish as a foster parent, that these little guys could talk and could tell you in advance upon rescue, whether they would prefer to be in amongst others, or find a place where they could be the centre of attention. The hopeful news in all of this is that another foster home has opened up and arrangements are nearly complete to have Buster moved to that home where he doesn't have to share his space.
We know in our hearts that Buster will be much happier in that environment versus this one, but I for one, can't help feeling somewhat as though I let him down as I look at him, that I haven't been able to provide an interim space that he's been happy in...........I try to remind myself that most important of all in this situation is the fact that he's safe, and that because of that, he has that second chance for true happiness which is really no further away than right around the corner. Still, taking him to another foster home will be met with mixed emotions on this end.............
You have done everything possible for Buster; however, there are some kitties that prefer to go thru this life solo. You cannot take responsibility for their conflicting personalities. You are truly a good caring person and Buster knows this.
I once had a foster cat, Rugy, who had to leave my house because one of my cats REALLY hated her. He would chase her down and smack her and she'd retreat into her bed and pee :(ReplyDelete
Rugy eventually went back to her original foster home and got adopted from there.
I also had feelings like I'd somehow failed her, but really it just wasn't the right fit. Much like Buster.